PAPA FIERCE

Last night I worked the Beyonce Concert at The Honda Center in Anaheim. Before the doors were open to the fans, we were setting up our "Miller Lite Zone" for some Bud VS. Miller taste challenges. The girls and I had just been chatting about how hungry we were and how yummy the popcorn smelled when up walks a man to our Taste Challenge Booth with a big bucket of POPCORN!!! The gentleman asked what we had going on at our booth, and I told him about the Taste Challenge (which is a blind taste test w/ two kinds of beer). I asked him if he wanted to try it, and he said that he couldn't drink because he was working. I promised him that we'd only get him "a little bit drunk" - heehee - but he still insisted that he'd have to take a pass. Once he said no to taking the challenge, I think our "group brain" decided that it was time to try to work the man for some of his popcorn, because right away my girl Shawn said, "That popcorn sure smells good." I quickly followed up with a super-dorky, "How is it? The popcorn is usually really good here." He said that on the contrary, the popcorn was stale, and then to prove his point he offered us some!! So of course like the opportunistic vultures we are, we dove on his popcorn!! He might have been right about it being stale, but to my empty belly it tasted AMAZING!!!

As the man walked off with his security in tow, I said jokingly, "That was probably Beyonce's Dad or something." Unfortunately I'm annoyingly loud, and he heard me. He looked back and smiled, and then to make me feel even more dumb the girls chimed out in unison "That was Beyonce's Dad!" Ooops. Sometimes I should just not talk. Oh well. At least we got to share a popcorn with Papa Fierce!

I AM BETTY BOOP

I was recently called on my cell-phone by a random stranger who said that he had received my name and phone number from a friend (another random stranger), and he wanted to know if I would be interested in playing Betty Boop in the "Burbank Goes Hollywood Parade".  At first this random phone call seemed sort of strange (was it a scam or some creepy guy?), BUT then the man mentioned that I would be PAID, so of course I said HELL YES!!!!  It might be a parade, and my face might be under a giant mask, but hey - an acting job's an acting job!!!!  

So, I show up, change in a fire-station -(where I walk in on a firefighter showering, but that's a whole other mortifying story!) - put on a little red dress with my giant Betty Boop head in tow, and get into a shuttle to be taken to the start of the parade.

Now here's where the story turns SOOO L.A.!  

I'm riding in the shuttle with a few other "characters" who are going to be in the parade: Marilyn Monroe, Charlie Chaplin, and Lucy (from I LOVE LUCY).  Also sitting next to me is a California Congressman being very friendly considering that he'd been stuffed into a shuttle with a bunch of weirdos.  As we're riding along I begin chatting with Marilyn and Lucy.  (Charlie doesn't speak of course.)  It takes all of my restraint to hold in my giggles when I realize that these two ladies are ALREADY "in character" and speaking to me in the voices of Marilyn and Lucy!!!  Was I supposed to be acting like Betty Boop inside of this dark shuttle?  I asked the girls if they worked often as celebrity impersonators, and they both told me yes.  Then I asked them if they'd ever gone out on Hollywood Blvd. and posed for pictures with the tourists for extra money.  APPARENTLY this is NOT a question you want to ask a "professional" celebrity impersonator!  The girls took a moment to give each other a shocked (and somewhat irritated) look before Lucy spoke.  "Hollywood Blvd.?  That's sort of... (eye roll) ...beneath us."  Then she looked away.  I don't think that the girls had much interest in talking after that.  

Oops.  

Well, just for the record, I am game to dress up and pose for pictures with tourists ANY TIME!!!  I bet you can make a killing up there!  If anyone wants to do it with me, send me a message!!!

STRAIGHT FROM L.A. CASTING

Casting Notice
Project Name:	Hard Times
Project Type:	Film & TV
Format:
Rate/Compensation:
Message: 18 to play younger, Girls in Bikinis, all ethnicities.  Please note willingness to watch someone get flashed by a man.

IF YOU NEED A PRESCRIPTION

Today on my morning jog I noticed that the "Medical Marijuana" Office on the Venice Boardwalk put up some new, more festive (and inviting) signage.  It made me laugh! I never noticed what the office was called before, but now it's the "MEDICAL KUSH BEACH CLUB!" I love it!! SOOO L.A.!!!  You know, just for research purposes I'm going to have to go up there and see what's involved in getting a "prescription".  Plus I'm dying to see what the "Medical Kush Beach Club" looks like!  I hope it's as hip and colorful as the sign!!!

SHE KISSED A GIRL AND SHE LIKED IT

This past weekend I worked an event as a Miller Lite girl (again).  Part of the event was a Katy Perry Concert.  Before the concert, myself and my fellow Miller Girls had been ushered backstage to the "Green Room" area to chill out and take a breather.  As we're sitting around drinking water and chatting, a somewhat frantic woman comes into the room to make an announcement.  She says:

"Ok girls.  Katy Perry is about to come in here.  So pleeeease, just stay calm and try not to freak out.  Please don't stare at her, and don't take pictures or ask for autographs.  We really need you to just try to be cool."  

The woman said this with so much pleading in her voice, that it sort of made me chuckle.  I mean really?  Did she really think we were all going to start screaming and crying out the moment Ms. Perry walked in the room?  If she hadn't announced her entrance, I would've thought Katy Perry was just another go-go dancer!  (The dancers also happened to be backstage at the time.)

At any rate, apparently Katy's "people" decided that we were just not cool enough to handle seeing her so close up, because they changed their minds last second, and decided swiftly to kick us out before she came in!!  Good times!

IF YOU'VE GOT SEXY FEET

(Straight From Craigslist.)

CASTING~ ACTRESSES/MODELS WITH PRETTY FACE & CUTE FEET. NON NUDE. $
Date: 2009-03-07, 9:20PM PST

We are currently in the process of hiring female models/ actresses with pretty feet for print, web and video work. NON NUDE. 18+ please.
Must be able to be creative with sneaker/ sock "strip tease". Sites will focus on sneakers/boots removal and soft bare feet. Models MUST have extremely soft feet. Please no blisters / cracked heels. We are looking for cheerleader, waitress, "Ingenue" and dancer types, as well as "plain Janes". Amateur/ non pro ok. Models should enjoy being the center of attention, and having their feet be subject of interest, including after feet have been in shoes and socks all day. Great attitudes a must.
Models will work in a fun, safe, party-like environment. Great pay.

Interested girls should submit a headshot, bio, and MOST importantly, clear, close up shots of tops AND soles of feet, preferably AFTER being in shoes and socks all day (cuts down on glare). Also, you are free to send fun, sexy shots of a sneaker/ sock "strip tease". Sock fuzz is OK.

To get an idea of what we are looking for in types of models and types of submissions, see the photo below.

Submit to: TEXASPINUPS@YAHOO.COM.

I just have to say that my FAVORITE part of this post is that "models will work in a safe, fun, PARTY LIKE environment".  Wow!!! Nothing says "PARTY" like a good old SMELLY SOCK STRIP TEASE!  Sounds fun!!!  And times are pretty tough...soooo....CHECK OUT MY AUDITION TAPE!

A SOOO L.A. GOOD SAMARITAN

This story is awesome!  

Sent in (and written) by Kelly K. in Santa Monica:

I park at La Conversation restaurant to meet my friends Ngoc and Heidi for lunch. After devouring a chopped salad with seared ahi and enjoying girlie conversation, I get to the parking lot and realize there is a white Mercedes blocking me in. I go back to the restaurant to find out if it might be someone in the restaurant. I make an announcement, “Does someone here own a white Mercedes?” And as though I am taking some kind of a poll on who owns a Mercedes, Fabio (yes, the guy on the romance novels and in the I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT BUTTER commercials) looks up and says, “I own a BLACK Mercedes.”

The next thing I know, Fabio is walking through the kitchen, asking if someone owns a white Mercedes- he makes it outside and asks the valet across the street, “Can you move this white Mercedes?” Finally, a woman comes running out of the restaurant to move her car, but what I found most amazing is that no one else seemed to be phased by what is really going on here:
We have me in an ART OF ELYSIUM t-shirt, who has just inherited the help of self-appointed, good Samaritan, Fabio, who is now running around the Doheny neighborhood of west Hollywood, trying to find the person who drives the white Mercedes to move their car because it is blocking me in (yes, me, the one with the SAAB STATION WAGON).
I get into my car, start backing up and notice Fabio is directing traffic in an effort to help me get out of the parking lot.

Only in L.A.

SOOO L.A. QUOTE OF THE DAY

I overheard two girls talking at Starbucks today.  Here's how the conversation went:

GIRL 1:  (As she's applying mascara) - 

"I feel so vain putting on makeup in the middle of Starbucks."

GIRL 2:  (Also applying makeup) -  

"You shouldn't!  Everyone does their work at Starbucks.  We're just doing ours!!"

DEFORMED BIRDS

Maybe one-legged seagulls are really common??  For some reason I've been seeing lots of them lately!!  This was like the third one this week!!

Are there lots of deformed seagulls everywhere, or is this SOOO L.A.?  The poor things hop around on one foot!!

HOW TO STAND OUT IN L.A.

Lately it seems like all of my friends in L.A. are having some sort of "work done" to make themselves hotter.  For some it's a simple shot of Botox, and for my other - more daring - girlfriends it's flat out plastic surgery.  Nose Jobs, Boob Jobs, you name it.  I think that people move out here feeling pretty comfortable with the way they look, but then slowly the desire to be an "L.A. TEN" (I SWEAR, anyone who lives here has heard the term) starts to creep in, and before you know it you're thinking that maybe a little tug here, and injection there wouldn't be sooo bad.  

First of all, the fact that we have the term "L.A. TEN" is hilarious in itself!  As if the people of L.A. are SOOO hot that we need our own scale!!  PLEEEASE!!!! 

WELL, since I do work full-time as a spokesmodel, and I don't personally think of myself as a "TEN" (by any city's standards),  I started talking to some friends about having a little work done myself.  I'm NOT actually going to, but I admit that the urge has hit me more than once.  A friend of mine who works on the casting side of the entertainment business quickly talked me out of it.  She said that "If you're an actress, you don't want to look too perfect.  There are so many "L.A. TENS" in town, and everyone in has had "work done".  If you stay natural and stick to your midwestern roots, you will really stand out!"

And that's when it hit me!  L.A. has GOT to be the ONLY town where you STAND OUT by NOT having plastic surgery!!!!! 

PS.  (I do think I'm at least an 8.5 - NOT fishing for any compliments here.  ;-)

PPS.  I personally have nothing against plastic surgery.  If you want your boobs, go get em' girls!!